Category: Dating and Relationships
Give me you're take on those. Everyone
Not sure why you'd bother. Only sets things up for failure later down the track. I know my partner won't have an orgasm each time, nor would I expect her to.
agreed with poster above. If a partner isn't helping out the other, faking doesn't lead to reeducation, and thus the same things happen because the other person is being lead on to believing they are doing something well.
I want the definition for fake orgasm first. and then I'll give my feedback on it.
Raaj.
Agree with posts two and three. I can't think of any situation where a fake orgasm would be acceptible in a relationship context.
If someone is board of me I would rather they tell me to my face and give me tips how I could improve or just leave me at least that is honest.
Agree with the posts here. fake ones are just wrong. Besides you can usually tell if they're fake so I've been told. there are some that are probably good actors, but why bother.
Fake orgasms? who does that? who would want someone who isn't doing it for them to think they actually are? I read an article about how only 1 in every 5 women are vaginally orgasmic during intercourse anyways. If the girl isn't getting off one way, try another. And if the guy isn't doing it for the girl, she should teach him how to. I doubt a guy could suck that bad unless he is lacking in the size department or something. Other than that, all can be taught.
I agree with Kayla and the 2 and 3. If you have to fake forget it. Teaching is the key. Smile.
I think faking an orgasm is the biggest insult you could hand your partner. Even if the motive is to not hurt them, I still think it's wrong. You're only going to hurt the other person more once they figure out that you've faked what is supposed to be an intimate moment. It does not solve anything, physically or emotionally. Working through problems might be difficult, but faking will only compound them. And, quite honestly, in the midst of sex is the last time and place I'd be wanting to try and play actress. Forget it.
In answer to post 9 and sucking, pardon the pun, apparently a woman's goal is not necessarily to have an orgasm each and every time she has intercourse. In other words she may still enjoy it without the climax. I'd be interested to hear opinions on this...I'm male of course. hehe.
Guess that depends on the woman? That would be an individual thing I'd think.
I'm in complete agreement with the fact that faking an orgasm in my book would be classed as highly insulting for several reasons.
Some people choose to fake, but the more mature choice is to educate your partner, you're really respecting them more if you doo.
I'd rather will get exhausted myself instead of having fun with an O faker!
Raaj.
No faking here...And who said a woman does not orgasm every time? LOL, I do, and if I don't he tries until he gets me there...
Sure. If she can't come one way, try another. If you know what she likes and she can do it for herself, then you can do it for her. If she's not in to you then you probably shouldn't be in bed with her anyway. Sex starts between the ears. If you turn that on the body will follow.
haha, nice responses K? I like it, and I agree with what's been said so far, but I'd like to add something. I want honest replies from men.
Tell me the truth. If me and you were having sex, and I didn't like the way you were doing something, would you honestly be cool with me going, "Hey, stop. Do it this way..." or "Try this..." or "I don't like that."? I think a lot of men will say "I'd much rather the woman just tell me the truth," but then when it actually happens and they actually get a woman who's ballsy enough to speak her mind, they bitch. They go "Oh, so now I'm not good enough hah?" I just wanna know, when you really think about it, would you actually want a woman to let you know what's up in the long run? I'm just asking, I'm not trying to say something more than that so pleas don't read into it too much and start getting all defencive and shit. :) Cuz I've been through this kinda thing before. I'm just wondering
Jessie
Sure, it might drop my confidence alittle for a split seccond, but once I get things going, and the girl is getting what she wants/needes, i'll be satisfied in knowing she's satisfied.I'm not one of those guys that just uses his girl for his needes. Sex is a 2 way street. Take care of her, and odds are she'll take care of you. If not that verry session, she'll remember sooner or later. lol
Oh no, I'd love it for her to tell me that. Nothing gets me off more than my partner getting off, so if I'm not doing something right, it would make it so much easier if I knew about it. Everyone is different, and what worked one day, might not work as well the next. I think part of being good in bed is to put the ego aside, and recognize those differences.
As has been said before, fake orgasms don't lead to improvement. If a girl isn't doing something in a manor that will get me off, say oral for example, then giving suggestions is fine. I expect the same in return. I mean there is nothing wrong with giving tips because everyone is different and likes different things. The more each partner knows about the others wants/needs, the better. But, it should not be said in an insulting way. Don't talk down to the person, just be honest in telling them how they could better pleasure you. It makes it better for all involved. A fake orgasm is not constructive at all at the end of the day.
Tell me baby! Brake out your favorite toys, lubes, or whatever, but let me know. Better yet just show me. Smile.
fake orgasm is so wrong. as a woman, i dont see the point to faking it. it only weaker a strong relationship, and for those who having sex only for pleasure, i don't see the point of pleasuring if you having fake orgasm.
i agree with post 2 and 3. real man will understand and respect that not all the woman can have orgasm everytime they having sex. and without orgasm doesn't mean that a woman not having pleasure during sex. it is different thing between having pleasure and orgasm. a couple can enjoy pleasurable sex without reaching orgasm. it is the level of closeness and intermertcy that count at the end of the day.
Simply put, I'm always looking for ways to improve, so if my partner tells me that what I'm doing isn't working, or simply shows me something else to try, I'm more than happy. If this happens a lot in a short time I'll get a little discouraged, but I'd rather be discouraged and hopeful than happy and oblivious.
I think it's all in how you put it. If I was not doing something the way my man wanted it, I would want him to tell me. And, the men I have been with have felt the same way about me telling them things. But I think you have to be constructive about it. Not just, "You're doing that wrong, you suck," kind of thing, but in a way that will help the other person, not put them on the defensive. Something more along the lines of, "I really like it when you do it this way," and show them, etc.
Buttercup, and the other women that have posted. You know I wonder about intercourse without orgasm for the woman. I don't mean she should be able to come that way, but what I mean is if she has agreed to sex with her lover, then why shouldn't she have orgasm during the act, unless she has some reason she can not? If we are just being close then the touching and all would be just as good seems to me. Now if she can not come for some reason, and I mean at all, then that should be explained at the start of the relationship. I personally would feel like I was cheating her out of part of her enjoyment if she could orgasm some way, but we never tried, because she felt like she should just please me. A man, or most are going to get theirs. It is possible for a man to fake as well, and some medical conditions cause them not to be able to orgasm either, but if all is right and their is a way seems their should never be any reason to fake anything. As I have said if we must fake why are we even in bed together? We need to get out of bed and discuss the relationship I'd say.
I would have to agree with post 22. And personally I think orgasms are overstressed much of the time. Women hear about orgasms all the time from friends experiences or through other sources, and many are led to think that they should be having one every time they have sex. I mean, if a woman can orgasm every time that's great, but every woman is different and I don't think a woman should fake an orgasm just because she feels she has to have one or because her partner expects her to. This is why honest and open communication is important. It is true that many women rarely if ever have orgasms from vaginal intercourse, so if they actually want one they should communicate with their partners in figuring out other ways to make it happen.
Somehow I find that hard to believe that most women don't have orgasms from vaginal sex. I mean, why not?
But yeah, if you can't you can't. You should ware yourself out trying like hell to orgasm if you can't, kuz then it'll be that way every time since the guy think whatever he's doing feels good when it apparently doesn't. But with me, all I have to do is breathe in and out and I'm yelling automaticly. That's different for everyone. It's very tiring faking it. That's why I don't. I just lay there lookin bored. lol
I've heard that too, about how many women can't orgasm from intercourse. I don't understand it either, but every person is different.
It is true that many can not, vaginally, or from intercourse, but most can other ways. I also think a woman deserves one each time, or most of the time, because as I have stated men are going to have one every time if all is medically correct with both people. Find the path for her, since I understand women, or some require other methods. I personally believe that your mind is the most powerful sex organ in the mix. If you are not really in to sex, and have gone without pleasure for years you give up, so when you are having sex you have it because you feel you must please your lover, and I highly think that is a good thing, but after you have been with him for a few years you stop wanting to give specially if your relationship lacks in other areas. I mean if you aren't enjoying the sex act, and the bills are behind, and he forgot your birthday, well the sex will be the last thing you'll want to be doing just to please him right? I have personally known women that have kids and have never orgasmed. I think that is a shame, since it it painful to give birth, if you do it naturally, so it seems to me to be a womans right to enjoy getting the baby. So all of you that post that it's not really important, and that it's over rated, or whatever should rethink that. To get pregnant your man is having his, you need yours too. I think sexual satifaction plays a large role in how strong a relationship is until you become truly soul mates, or friends, and that requires years of togetherness. Maybe that is why God, or nature made the young sexually motivated in case it falls off in old age?
True.. and I never suggested that it wasn't important.. I meant that women these days are have to have one every time so they think something's wrong when they don't to the point that they feel like they have to fake them. Of course they are very important and a woman should have every right to her sexual pleasure, but that is why she should get to know her own body and what she likes in order to be able to tell her partner and work together with him to improve it instead of faking it and complaining about never being able to actually have a real one.
Nothing I can say that hasn't been said. Fake orgasms (or even pretending you're enjoying it) serves no purpose but to mislead your partner and ensure you'll never be satisfied.
I'm happy to understand you better Musicgirl. Sex is such a heavy subject for people to talk about I suppose people feel like deceit is better then sitting down and working it out.
Agreed with what has been said. It seems really sily to fake an orgasm. If you're unsatisfied, tel your man, or your lady, and have done with it. Honesty is the best policy here.
rebelwoman,
Not all women have a climax everytime..it's not required although it is certainly a nice thing! If you have a climax everytime you make love, then you go girl! :)
I wanted to bring up the fact that a lot of women (not all..), usually do not have an orgasim with vaginal sex because the vagina doesn't have a lot of nerves in it. There's only about 3 inches or so of nerves starting from the outside and going in to the vagina about 3 inches or so. That is where the nerves stop.
Yes there is the G spot..that's on the inner wall somewhere around the 3 inches or before that..
If you want to varify, check google or go to
www.talksexwithsue.com
I think that's the web site..she has a lot of informative, easy to read info about this topic and many others.
Also, you can google it as well..
I hope this helps! :)
Yeah I've heard that not all women can have a vaginal orgasm, I certainly don't understand it lol, but I know. All I'm trying to get through to people is that faking an orgasm is fucking stupid, it does you no good, and the only reasons I can think of that someone would do that is either 1, they don't wanna hurt the other person's feelings, or 2, they wanna be able to hold it over their head later, like "Oh, btw, I faked it." Which is childish, but yes people do shit like that so be awhare. Men do it to women too, this isn't one-wayed.
Jessie
the one thing I have to ask though. Is if you guys have ever been with someone who just had a baby and noticed a drop in sex after the baby was born. Or ladies, if you just had a kid, and your sex drive that you thought would never calm down has calmed a lot and you went from wanting sex several times a day to maybe once a week?
that sounds crazy to me. guess it could happen, but having a baby shouldn't change your sex life for the worst.
I've heard that actually, that's what my doctor told me when I was pregnant. I asked him if having the baby would affect my sexlife, and he said it shouldn't greatly impact it, but it might. During pregnancy the sexdrive usually scryrockets, and then after the birth it drops dead. It mostly has to do with the stress of taking care of a newborn, but it could be other things.
Jessie
yeah I maybe faked an orgasm once and that was because i got distracted!
Its definitely wrong and your doing a disservice to not only your partner but yourself.
oi, stop faking. particularly on this thing. I hate that, I say.
Raaj.